PUMPERS & LEAKERS

We had a crazy day at the golf course. A person was hit on the head with a golf ball. He seems smarter now. A cart ran into the end of an open gate almost killing the guy on the passenger side. Fortunately, he managed to avoid a direct blow to the head, but he did suffer a glancing blow to the chest which cracked a couple of ribs. Just before going home, I took a walk in the woods to look for golf balls, stepped on a fallen tree limb which flipped up and tripped me. I thought I was okay except for some bleeding from a small wound on my right shin. I took out the first-aide kit and bandaged it the best I could. It seemed to bleed a lot for such a small injury, my sock had turned completely red by the time I patched myself up. That night, I cleaned and re-bandaged this small in my leg and went to bed. Not wanting to bloody up the bed in case it started bleeding again during the night, I took some old sheets and a couple of pillows and camped out on the kitchen floor. To my surprise, in the morning I awoke to something much like that horse-head-in-the-bed scene in Godfather. I was lying in a pool of my on blood. After cleaning myself up once again and miraculously only getting blood on tile floors and not the carpet due to my adept new skill of towel walking, I woke my wife and told her that she needed to drive me to Emory Emergency. Sunday morning is a much better time to have an emergency than Saturday night. We were in and out in two hours. After deciding whether I was a pumper or a leaker (I was the latter), they stitched me up and I'm as good as new except I couldn't run for a week. Turns out I had punctured a vein (leaker) not an artery (pumper). It wasn't going to quit bleeding until I got stitches or stuck a hot knife into the wound like they did on Gunsmoke.